The Stages of Death: A Process of Transformation?

In light of the upcoming Miracles conference in April themed, “At the Heart of A course in Miracles,” I thought I might start the year by writing a series of blogs related to what I believe are subjects at the ‘heart’ of ACIM and its students.

One key theme that stands out for me is transformation. Transformation by definition is a ‘process of change’ (hopefully for the best). The key transformation that must occur for those of us on the spiritual path, according the Course, is the undoing of the ego. Although the Course discusses various ways this process can take place, I found in my experience it can be likened to the five stages of death as outlined by the modern expert on death, dying and grief, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross.

According to Kubler-Ross the five stages are: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance. These five stages are often referred to by psychologists who have patients discovering they have a terminal illness or who are dealing with the grief process. It has even been humorously explained by the late controversial comic, Lenny Bruce who, like me, finds weird comfort in poking fun at the insanity of basic human nature and the panic we experience when it comes to letting go of something we feel is important.

So when Jesus asks us to even consider letting go of everything we believe is real, in other words to allow the undoing of the ego, we are bound to have some resistance. Let’s face it, to the ego, its undoing or death is a very serious matter and isn’t going to be welcomed with open arms (thus the denial, anger, bargaining and depression). Still, if we are ever going to progress spiritually the ego must be let go as it is ultimately the very source of our guilt, pain and suffering.

However, it’s good to know that these stages are a natural part of the death, or transformation process. For instance, denial: I recall experiencing major denial when reading my very first Course lesson, ‘Nothing I see in this room means anything.’ It challenged everything I believed and worked hard for. How dare anyone tell me it all means nothing? On that very day I refused to read anymore, closed the book shut and placed it on the shelf for two months.

When I realised my reaction was just a defence mechanism of the ego to secure its existence, I came back and read lesson two, ‘I have given everything I see in this room all the meaning that it has for me.’ Well, that was quite a different story... I could actually see how I have in fact given everything all the meaning it has for me based on past conditioning, personal values, etc.

Fortunately, once I got past my initial obstacle to peace, denial, I could then go on to lesson three, four and five (along with anger, bargaining and depression), eventually completing the workbook and making great advances along my journey to acceptance.

For many, denial, anger, bargaining and depression seem to be an ongoing uphill battle. Acceptance is like finding the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Sure we may accept things as they are sometimes, but every time? Acceptance every time is what it actually means to be awake, but arriving at this stage is obviously no simple task.

Jesus understands this and discusses it thoroughly in the Manual for Teachers under the heading, “The Development of Trust.” He realises the hurdles, the advances and set-backs we seem to experience on our twisting, winding road to enlightenment. He understands that this curriculum is asking us to, in essence, die to an old way of seeing and being so that we can awaken to a new way of being in the “real world,” the world of only Love, Joy and Peace.

At the end of the day, death comes to us all. However it’s not the painful, sad loss of final termination as the ego would have us believe, but simply the passing away of illusion and the false idea that we have separated from God, each other and our true Self. So let’s welcome our anger, denial, bargaining and depression on the path of awakening as part of the process. If we can recognise our challenges for what they are – another opportunity to have our minds healed, we are well on our way home.