There is a poem by the 13th Century Persian Poet Rumi titled the “House Guest” that reads:
“This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.”
Well this was certainly my experience over this Christmas and New Year period. In fact, as excited as I was before the holiday about starting a fresh new year filled with possibility and light, I discovered that I had a load of unexpected and unwelcome “guests” knocking at my door...
For some reason, I felt especially hit hard the week between Christmas and New Year. Perhaps it had something to do with one year ending and another beginning (at my age), but I suddenly found myself ridden with feelings of unworthiness and self-doubt. This was really strange because we literally just last month moved into a great new house and life seemed to be going well.
I wrestled with these feelings and thoughts for several days beating myself up for things done or said, or things not done or left unsaid over the past year. During this time I developed the flu and found myself in bed for most of the week. This actually proved to be a good opportunity however to really connect with Holy Spirit and with His guidance, I sank deeply (and guilt free) into meditation and reflection for hours and hours at a time thinking and playing out scenarios in my mind.
Then on the morning of 1st January the New Year came and with it an epiphany! I might even go as far as to call it a revelation because the realisation and experience of complete and total forgiveness came with such love, peace and joy that it completely swept my entire house clean in one fowl swoop…
It all started(as it always does)with an idea. An idea that Holy Spirit gave to me while contemplating an A Course in Miracles quote that I had read or heard numerous times before. The idea was, “Spirit is in a state of grace forever. Your reality is only spirit. Therefore you are in a state of grace forever (T-1.III.9:4-6)." As this idea began to melt deeply into my mind, I verbally repeated it to myself several times, “My reality is only spirit and spirit is in a state of grace forever. Therefore I am in a state of grace forever.”
Slowly Holy Spirit revealed all of my illusions to me one by one in their various vicious forms and reminded me in a very gentle and kind way that they are all the same in their non-reality, and in truth come from the original belief in separation and specialness that we all share. Not only the belief that we are separate from one another, or better or worse than someone else, but also separate from God.
He reminded me that the idea of unworthiness was ultimately the ego aspect of my mind trying to get me to push God away and protect my false beliefs, but that these false ideas have no real power to change the truth of Who and what I really am: Spirit existing in a state of grace forever. In that concept, I experienced a complete shift in perception, also known as a miracle. But even more, God’s Love filled me in a way that I can’t fully describe and blanketed me in an utter sense of confirmation, “you are so loved, you are so loved.”
I can’t tell you the impact that this renewed realisation had on me. I’ve heard people say that they get the Course “intellectually” but not in practice, and the teaching of 'separation' for the average Course student is pretty basic, but I’m here to tell you that the full experience is what it’s all about. And if you really open your heart to Jesus, He is your friend and will walk with you the whole way no matter what you think your issue is, or how far you think you have or have not come in your life or spiritual practice.
I was mainly reminded that Holy Spirit works through me and that I must always be open and honest with myself if I am to allow Him to do that. Acting as Spirit’s eyes, ears, hands and feet is all of our reason for being so it is of utmost importance that we really grasp the concept that we ARE worthy and deserving of all things wise and wonderful(contrary to what 'Wayne and Garth' might repeatedly chant in the film "Wayne's World").
But overall, I am grateful for the "house guest" that never really had any power to hurt me, but that prompted me to take a hard look at my illusions and examine them with the Holy Spirit in the light of love, so that we might laugh them away together right out the back door. Which we did!
Happy New Year with Blessings and Light,
Cheryl
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